just sitting...

...around today. I really ought to take the kiddos to the park because it is beautiful out now. It was all gross and overcast this morning, but now it's sunny and a little bit breezy. Absolutely lovely! I've got Meg's diapers drying on the balcony-I love that crunchy warm feeling fabric has after being dried outside in the sun.

Things have been pretty crazy here lately, just the regular stresses of a single-earner household. We went camping last week, and as I mentioned last time, I was hoping to have a missed period and be pregnant, but it was not meant to be. I waited and waited all night Thursday when my period would have been due if I was on a 28 day cycle like I was before I got pregnant with Meghan. Nothing. Not even close. All the rest of the weekend I waited impatiently patiently for something, anything! And nothing happened! I was so excited thinking that we had gotten it on the first try, like we did with Meghan...and then so so so sad on Sunday night when AF showed up.

I've been pretty down since then, although still wishing i would get going on this bloggy blog. I suppose I ought to carve out a specific time to sit down and write/type about the day and whatever other random thoughts I have. I do want to sit down and write about our camping trip because we had SO much ridiculous fun and it was awesome to sort of re-focus our family and spend quality one-on-one-on-one (haha) time just the three of us.

I"m cutting it short today, I've got rustic peach tarts to bake! ;)

rant...

...maybe. I wanted to list all the things that I think went wrong with Kait's labor and delivery and share all the wonderful comments my family made to me about her birth, like I had the power to change it afterwards. (sarcasm) But, I have decided to just let it all go as there is nothing I can change, and God made her birth happen the way it did for a reason. He wanted her to experience it that way, just like he put me through the trial of Meghan's birth. I know that her labor and delivery was arduous and so hard and resulted in a c-section for a reason.

I believe it was because I had this idealized plan of how everything would go perfectly and there would be no complications or bumps in the road. God sent me that curve ball for trying to plan out what couldn't be planned and what I should've left up to him in the first place.

One of these days I'll write about what I'd like my next birth to be like...ahhh, a girl can dream, huh? :)

Speaking of, and quite nicely timed, my last post before Kait's birth story was Thursday, August 11th. I had written about how Freddy had arrived and a friend of mine was still nursing her 2 1/2 year old and her period had returned at 18 months post partum, remember? I was musing about how I'd have to wait another 5+ months before the thought of ovulation and conception could even be considered seriously.

Well, lo and behold, I didn't have to wait 5+ months! I literally published that post, shut off the lights, tv, etc to get the apartment ready for nighttime and went to the bathroom to get ready for bed...and Aunt Flow was there! Hahaha. I was so surprised and delighted! I am so stoked and I wanted to call Drew up right then, but decided to wait because I figured it wouldn't be that big of a deal to him. When I told him about it the next day, he said, "Well, now we can have another baby." I am so thankful that he feels the same way and I think he even got a little excited that a baby is now a definite possibility. :)

I am not so surprised that AF showed up, I had been having serious cramps the week before, but shrugged it off as indigestion. I don't know how much you all need/want to know, but since I'll be sharing any future conceptions/pregnancies/births as they come, you might as well know ;) I had a regular period, lasting 6 days (which is normal for me) It was quite heavy and painful which I was not accustomed to as I had been on birth control for the past ... almost 10 years! Yikes! I can say that I feel phenomenal having let my body do it's natural thing and I think that the mood swings I used to experience while on birth control are non-existent. (I'm sure Drew would argue that point ;) )

So, now that we know I am/should be ovulating fairly regularly, we're going to go with the flow. I don't want to stress myself too much and jinx anything. I definitely want to wait awhile to see if 'it' will just happen before I go charting basal temperatures and counting days. I certainly wasn't doing any of that last time, so maybe it will just be a nice surprise for my birthday next month... :D