... that's my baby cry. I'm crying like a baby because I want another baby. I am so selfish. I should rejoice in Meghan and the fact that we were blessed with Meghan yet I cannot help wanting another newborn. :( This is ridiculous. Everyday Meghan graces us with some new action or expression and I find myself wrapped up in her simple joys. I love her to death. Yesterday she drank juice for the first time (does not like it cold), sat up on her own from laying on her tummy, and crawled! Yes, she crawled for the first time! And, I found myself crying in awe of how wonderful she is. I felt like a silly but I was truly moved.
I don't know where this baby fever is coming from. Could be the fact that Drew's cousin is due 2.15, a family friend is due 5.1.11, her sister late july and my sister 8.8.11 (which is her 24th birthday). Seems like everyone is pregnant and I just loved being pregnant. I loved knowing that I was growing our love and that one day she would be here with us forever. I loved the morning sickness (only nausea for me), I loved feeling her squirm around inside my belly. I loved her hiccups that made my whole belly jiggle. I loved it when she got bigger and my tummy got hard and felt like a pregnant belly instead of just a fat belly. I felt like I was doing a higher purpose than my (seemingly) small existence.
I'm trying not to let jealousy get the best of me, it is very hard. I am quick to be jealous and envious. I am not sure why. We weren't raised to be jealous and envious of what others had but at the same time I don't equate these feelings with 'bad behavior'. I know it is wrong to feel this way and so I do my best to not let it get the best of me. I try and rejoice in what God has granted me with. A loving husband, a perfect daughter and a happy home.