Monday, December 16, 2013


Meghan Louise knows the alphabet song. And she is so proud of herself! 

Meg continues to amaze us everyday. She is just so darn smart!

My mother was having full conversations with Meg on Sunday and I don't know if that's what made it click for her or what; my mom then went on and on about how Meghan should be in school. 

We still haven't decided what to do with Meg. I really don't feel that public school is the best route for us, but I don't see any other way. I work full time and I don't think Drew is up to the challenge of educating. 


My heart is heavy today. Drew and I got into a fight via text message. It's so hard to read someone's thoughts and feelings when you're communicating through cyber space. It's especially hard when you're on a teller line and one of the tellers called in because of her cat!


It's also frustrating when you come home expecting to talk things out and your brother-in-law is in the living room. Imagine my surprise. 


I can't seem to deal with the grief of losing our baby. I think of him often. I feel like a piece of our family is missing. I feel lost. Like I can't get over this hump. Nothing seems to help. My heart is missing a piece and I will never get it back. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to fix myself. I feel like I'm the only one trying to get through this. Why do I feel so alone? I don't know. 

I don't know.

I don't know. 


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