i like to...

...move it, move it. Blast from the past for any of my readers? :) I don't really know where to start this post, but I've got to start somewhere, right? I am fat. (whew! There I said it!) You may or may not be able to tell from my profile picture, I am beyond fat, if there is such a thing. I'm not going to write a specific number, but I've never hit 300 pounds, even while swollen with fluids post partum (I lost 30 pounds in the first few weeks after Meghan was born).

I am at the heaviest I've ever been (besides pp) and I'm sick of it. I'm sick of getting winded just walking up the stairs. I dread letting Meg run around when we're out anywhere because I then have to run after her and I can just feel how clumsy I am. I'm sick of eating like I'm a scrawny 12 year old boy and thinking that nothing can touch me-because clearly it does. I'm sick of being tired. All. The. Time. Seriously, it doesn't matter how many or few hours of sleep I get, I am always feeling lethargic. Often cranky as well. And that's just not fun for anyone.

I've always been bigger than everyone else. For as long as I can remember, I've been one of the fat kids. I don't know how I got here. My mother and older sister are (relatively) healthy (they both smoke), but my father and younger sister are both overweight/obese like me. I can't speak for my sisters, but I know that I was never taught how to eat balanced and properly proportioned meals and snacks. And I don't mean to say that I had bad parents or we sat around eating crap all day, because we didn't. My parents are great and I love them. And I place no blame on them. Because by the time that I was old enough to know better, I just didn't do what I needed to. I've been neglecting myself and I've short-changed my life.

I want to get healthy and lose weight for so many reasons. Primarily, for myself. I want to look at myself in the mirror and smile knowing that I am healthy and happy. I want to be a great wife and have more energy. Drew is really outdoorsy and active-and would be more so if I was his physical equal. I love the outdoors as well and I would love to be outside as much as possible, but I am not able to. I also want more kids, and really it's not safe for me being as big as I am. When I was pregnant with Meghan, I was obese, but only gained 13 lbs, and I had gestational diabetes. Luckily, I was able to control it with diet, but I may not continue to be so lucky. Diabetes also runs rampant in my family on both sides and heart disease as well. I'm really putting myself on the fast track to both by being overweight. Lastly, I want to get healthy for Meghan (and the future babes). I want to be here for her in the future, I want to inspire her and I want to be able to chase her around with going into cardiac arrest.

So, how am I going to achieve this awesomeness? I am going to exercise and eat right. Sounds simple, no? You would think if it was so simple, then I'd be a skinny-minnie in no time. I am going to make small changes in my diet. I'm going to stop drinking soda (not that I drink a lot, but when we go out I always opt for the caffeine free soda when I should be drinking water), I'm going to drink at least 32 oz (or more) of water a day. I did this for awhile, and I stayed really well hydrated and it leaves little room for drinking crap! I'm going to eat more fresh fruits and vegetables and less processed foods. Right now, I/we eat a lot of processed convenience foods, but it's not benefiting any of us. I'm also going to try and eat less white flour and white sugar. Also, less sweets. Now, sweets are my kryptonite. I have noticed lately that if I let myself have a small treat, then I start craving more and more until I'm full of refined sugar and simple carbs. I don't want to deny myself, but I will have to have some restraint.

As far as exercise, I've tried seemingly easy things like Wii Fit, which is fun but I find it mundane, repetitive and I find myself standing around a lot as the screens load in between workouts. I might still use it for yoga, since I have zero flexibility. I'm going to start the Couch to 5k running program. (more helpful links here) And I use the term "running" loosely, because, let's be honest, I won't be running anywhere for quite a while. C25k is a program that gradually builds up your ability to run a 5k in about 9 weeks. You start out slow, alternating walking and jogging for 20-30 minutes, 3 times a week. Eventually, I'll be able to jog/run a 5k in 20-30 minutes with no walking.

I'm going to start on Monday, I think. I haven't fully discussed this idea with Drew yet, as far as finding the time for me to get outside. I don't have a jogging stroller, so I won't be able to take the babes with me during the day. That leaves me with either getting up super early in the morning and going out before Drew leaves for work at 630am, or going out at night after Meghan goes to sleep which is usually around 730pm. That means someone (Drew) has to be here while Meghan is here so that I can exercise. This plan is 3 days a week and Drew is usually here at least that much during the week. We're/He's pretty busy on the weekends with band stuff, so I'm shooting for Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays/Saturdays as my C25k days. I plan to always rest on Sundays, and then do yoga on my "off days" which will help with flexibility and stretching.

I'm really excited and I know my biggest enemy is myself. I just have trouble motivating myself to get my life together. Hopefully this whole life change/plan will affect other areas of my life as well. :)

Might write more on this tomorrow, but I've got to stop this for now, Meghan will be up before I know it! :D