oops...

i forgot to post the picture...sorry! (i know you'll enjoy it!)

10 things...

...i'm thankful for (another entry into emily's giveaway)

my 10 things:

1. my daughter-becoming a mother is all i have striven for in life and now i feel complete.

2. my husband-everyday we take time to acknowledge each other and all that we do to make the craziness work!

3. my family-we are so close and when i was having a less than perfect labor and delivery and then the additional breastfeeding issues, it was awesome how my family rallied with me and my husband and everything worked out in the end.

4. the little things-surprise flowers from the husband, the first green shoots of crocuses, a clear blue sky...little things that let me know god is out there.

5. god-i'm thankful for him and his plan-i know everything will work out alright.

6. chocolate peanut butter combos-be it sandwiches, candy or baked goods, there is no finer combination of flavors than chocolate and peanut butter. i hope that i do not develop a peanut allergy!

7. the things that i have-i mean the material and not material things. it is nice to have a tv, gaming consoles, internet, etc. but i am also so thankful to have a warm home, food on the table and people i love and who love me in return.

8. crafts-i freely admit that i am a procrastinator and "not-finisher" (as in i started that and did not finish it) but i love to work with my hands and to create. i did start and finish two reworkings of jeans and pj pants into skirts this past week-i kept the jeans for me and the pj skirt i gave to my sister.

9. my husbands family-his parents and 11 siblings (i know!) are a blessing and gift. he has 7 sisters and 4 brothers ranging in age from 25 on down to 3. i have learned so much from them. ex: his 3 yo brother stuck a banana on the cordless phone charger and yelled "BANANA PHONE!!!!" funniest thing all week and he reminds me to stop and be silly!

10. blogs-rather, this should say the internet. i love being able to connect with like minded women to share my feelings and concerns. i love having access to so many different opinions and insights on everything from child bearing to home making.

i know its been a long...

...long time. and i promise, i will write a real update in the next few days. and i admit, this post is just for an additional entry in another blog's giveaway, but i just adore her handmade skirts, dresses and "mommy and me" aprons!

emily over at a beautiful life is giving away an adorable set of "mommy and me" aprons and a book entitled "helping them to choose: the duty of christian parents" by samuel philips. i have never read or heard about this book, but i never turn a book down!

whaa whaa whaa...

... that's my baby cry. I'm crying like a baby because I want another baby. I am so selfish. I should rejoice in Meghan and the fact that we were blessed with Meghan yet I cannot help wanting another newborn. :( This is ridiculous. Everyday Meghan graces us with some new action or expression and I find myself wrapped up in her simple joys. I love her to death. Yesterday she drank juice for the first time (does not like it cold), sat up on her own from laying on her tummy, and crawled! Yes, she crawled for the first time! And, I found myself crying in awe of how wonderful she is. I felt like a silly but I was truly moved.

I don't know where this baby fever is coming from. Could be the fact that Drew's cousin is due 2.15, a family friend is due 5.1.11, her sister late july and my sister 8.8.11 (which is her 24th birthday). Seems like everyone is pregnant and I just loved being pregnant. I loved knowing that I was growing our love and that one day she would be here with us forever. I loved the morning sickness (only nausea for me), I loved feeling her squirm around inside my belly. I loved her hiccups that made my whole belly jiggle. I loved it when she got bigger and my tummy got hard and felt like a pregnant belly instead of just a fat belly. I felt like I was doing a higher purpose than my (seemingly) small existence.

I'm trying not to let jealousy get the best of me, it is very hard. I am quick to be jealous and envious. I am not sure why. We weren't raised to be jealous and envious of what others had but at the same time I don't equate these feelings with 'bad behavior'. I know it is wrong to feel this way and so I do my best to not let it get the best of me. I try and rejoice in what God has granted me with. A loving husband, a perfect daughter and a happy home.

what's for...

...dinner, dear? I wish I heard this question everyday, but I don't. Usually it's me asking Drew the night before, "What do you want for dinner tomorrow?" He doesn't care unless it's something he hates like Tuna Noodle Casserole or Pot Roast. Yep, you read that right. My husband hates pot roast. You'd think, being the male hunter/gatherer, that he'd have this innate love of meat and potatoes. Alas, he "doesn't like the way the meat falls apart." (whaaaaat??? I wondered in my head, that's how it's supposed to be and it's delicious!) But, that's ok with me, he likes just about everything else.

Tonight we had Pillsbury Crescent Pizza Pockets (which were yum-o) and Hidden Valley Caesar Salad Kit (not as much yum-o). The pizza pockets came out great, I will definitely be making them again, they're prepped and baked in less than 1/2 an hour! The salad mix was only so-so. It has these "lemon pita chips" in the mix and I should left them out because they're completely unnecessary. They taste like a shock of fake lemon flavor and really don't add anything to the salad. Also the cheese included in the kit tastes just like the bottled Kraft Parmesan cheese and I've had much better salad kits that include the lettuce!

Not sure what we're having tomorrow night. We've been trying to eat things from the freezer in order to make room for Sunday. You know, the Super Bowl! I am super excited because this is the first year we're on our own and we have this obscenely large tv. But, that's a story for another day...

today was...

...a ho hum day. Lacie and Dylan didn't come until almost 11 am-not that I got to sleep in or anything, Meghan was still up for the day at 8am. I did get more sleep than 2 nights ago, but I fear not much more. I was still pretty zombie this morning. It's not yet 10pm yet and I intend to go to bed right after I post this.

For dinner tonight I made baked pork chops with roasted potatoes. It was actually the recipe off the back of the Shake n Bake box and it was yummy! Drew said the potatoes were -and I quote- "perfect", which is a compliment not often heard around here. He's a pretty picky eater and I thought I was bad. He will not eat most things like pot roast and everything made to be eaten served over noodles unless it is pasta and marinara sauce. Forget leftovers-he never eats them. Well, almost never. He did eat the pistachio pudding salad my Grandma Karen made yesterday. She also made a green salad and Lentil Skillet. Drew hates Lentil Skillet. I've only made it once in 3 1/2 years.

Dylan was really good today, no time outs and even left quite quickly. Usually, he's kicking and screaming as Lacie walks out the door and Dylan runs after with no boots or coat on because he refuses to put them on. But today he gave Meghan and I our kisses and hugs and put on his coat and boots. Told me Uncle Drew was sleeping so he couldn't give him a kiss and hug and walked out the door with Lacie. For awhile I thought his problems when leaving at night were because it was a new schedule for him and when Kait watches him she drives him to Lacie's house so he goes to sleep in his own bed and Lacie is there when he gets up in the morning. Now I'm not sure what it is. In any case, it was a small blessing for us as I was trying to make dinner while Meghan was crying for a feeding/nap. Time for bed for this exhausted momma.

is this gas...

...or what? I don't know, I can't tell. It feels like the flutterings of a little baby, but I don't have any other symptoms. Plus I took a test on Christmas Eve and it was negative so I would only be about 4 weeks and it is way too early to be feeling anything. That sort of leads into this.

Drew and I are not trying to conceive (as in not counting days or figuring out when I'm ovulating, etc) but we are also not preventing. In any way. I took the birth control pill from my 6 week postpartum appointment for the 1 month and then couldn't renew my prescription due to Medicaid issues (that's a whole nother post to deal with). So we just decided to go with the flow and let whatever happens happen.

I've decided that I never want to be on birth control again. I hate the way I feel when I'm on it. I imagine it's how someone with mental issues feels when they're on their 'medication'. It's like I'm not myself. I say and do things that I know are not me. And I have no control over how I act or react and I cannot stand it. In addition to the hormonal issues, I get these light brown spots on my chest that change shape and move around my skin. (yeah, you read that right. they move!) If that's not freaky I don't know what is.

And you may say, how can you do that? You'll end up with 20 kids! There are other birth control options! I know that I can do whatever God feels is right for me to handle and I know he wouldn't provide us with something that we couldn't handle. I know I won't end up with 20 kids because Meghan came via c-section and I will likely have to have another at some point down the road, although I'd like to avoid it. Other birth control methods are just as hormonal (the ring or shot) or inserted physically (an IUD) and I am not doing any more hormone and the thought of a plastic or copper IUD inside my body that wasn't meant to be there is enough to turn my stomach.

So, I will trust in God and his plan for us and hope for the best. I know I have nothing to worry about if I keep the faith.