no clever...

...title today. Today started out ok and has just gotten worse and worse as the day goes on. I found out this morning that my Dad had his dog, Spanky, put down on Thursday. Spanky had been battling a tumor in his colon for over a year. My sister told me he had gotten to the point where he was in quite a bit of pain and couldn't sit down due to the tumor. I know my Dad did what was right and didn't want him to suffer anymore, but Spanky was like the brother I never had. No one had ever seen a dog as smart and obedient as him. He could do so many tricks and listened to every word/command you said to him-it was like he could understand what you were saying. No other dog ever came close. Spanky was with us for over 10 years. My Dad has lost his only companion in life.

On top of that, my Great-Aunt Lynne posted on Facebook (of all places) the my paternal grandmother, Helen, was admitted to Hospice last night. My Grandma Helen has been sick for quite some time. It started about 3 years ago, my Dad, sister Kait and I drove (yes, drove) from New York to Florida for vacation at the end of January '08 and my Grandma could no longer walk with us in the theme parks. She had to have one of those motorized scooters because she was having trouble breathing. She also was on oxygen all night. The summer of 2008, my Grandpa and Grandma came up for their yearly visit to New York (they spent about 4-6 weeks here every summer since they moved to Florida full time) and she was on oxygen some of the time during the day and all night. Two summers ago was her last visit to New York. She was carrying a tank with her all the time. She would get out of breath whenever she got excited or talked to much. I cannot imagine what it must have been like at that point-to not be able to express yourself as needed.

My Grandma has emphysema, not due to 30 years of smoking like one would think. But, due to her psoriasis, which she has had since her teens. Apparently psoriasis messes with one's immune system and forms scar tissue on the lungs. Slowly killing one by gradually restricting the lungs so that they cannot function anymore.

I got married this past May and gave birth in July and I know my Grandma wished so much that she could've been here. I hope she doesn't think that I felt shortchanged in any way. (My older sister, Lacie, gave birth in June of '08 and my Grandparents were at the hospital for the birth) And I don't have any regrets or blame on them. I know they would've been here to support me if they were able. My Grandmother called me the day of the wedding to wish me luck and to apologize that they weren't able to be here and that I didn't have a lot of family from my side represented at the wedding. (Drew is the oldest of 12 and has about 50 cousins, but we dated for 9 years before we got married, so I feel like I am a part of their family anyways)

So after Meghan was born, My Dad and I flew to Florida in November so that my grandparents could meet Meghan. My Dad, Lacie and Dylan had been making regular trips to Florida to visit my Grandma, but I hadn't seen her in over a year. My Grandma was just so excited to see Meghan and get to meet her, I'm glad we were able to see her one last time. It bothers me that my kids won't know their Great Grandma but God has a plan and I can do nothing to change it. His will is the way.

The point of all this was that I got a double dose of bad news within 12 hours. So it was a sucky day. I had Drew make me a brownie sundae that was delicious. Tomorrow we are going to visit my other Grandparents (Grandma Helen and Grandpa Dick are my Dad's mom and step-dad, Grandpa Ed and Grandma Karen are my Dad's dad and step-mom). They live on the other side of the big city, about 20 minutes away. We haven't seen them since Christmas, so that will be nice to visit and hopefully bring my spirits up.