Love.

http://guggiedaly.blogspot.com/2012/05/are-you-there-baby.html?m=1

El-em-en-oh-pee.

Meghan Louise knows the alphabet song. And she is so proud of herself! 

Meg continues to amaze us everyday. She is just so darn smart!

My mother was having full conversations with Meg on Sunday and I don't know if that's what made it click for her or what; my mom then went on and on about how Meghan should be in school. 

We still haven't decided what to do with Meg. I really don't feel that public school is the best route for us, but I don't see any other way. I work full time and I don't think Drew is up to the challenge of educating. 

...

My heart is heavy today. Drew and I got into a fight via text message. It's so hard to read someone's thoughts and feelings when you're communicating through cyber space. It's especially hard when you're on a teller line and one of the tellers called in because of her cat!

Frustrating. 

It's also frustrating when you come home expecting to talk things out and your brother-in-law is in the living room. Imagine my surprise. 

...

I can't seem to deal with the grief of losing our baby. I think of him often. I feel like a piece of our family is missing. I feel lost. Like I can't get over this hump. Nothing seems to help. My heart is missing a piece and I will never get it back. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to fix myself. I feel like I'm the only one trying to get through this. Why do I feel so alone? I don't know. 

I don't know.

I don't know. 

Shouldas

Should be...

Cleaning. 

Crocheting Emmitt's Christmas presents. 

Washing dishes. 

Making lists. 

Snuggling with my little bug. 

Not catching up on my aunt-in-law's blog. 

Not watching girlie movies. 

Not blogging. 

Thankful for...

My loving husband. 

My cuddly little bug. 

Warm blankets. 

Hot cocoa. 

Blogs to read. 

Facebook messages from Alex and Pat-just to say they are thinking of us this month when they know it will be hard on us. 

I am so thankful for her. That she remembered. No one else has. How can no one notice? I want to scream, "Can't you see?? I am broken. I am missing my son! Does no one see that I am incomplete?" 

I need a rainbow. 

Another recipe fail.

This time it's facebook's fault! Haha. I saw a picture of pancake cups. Where supposedly you could bake pancake mix in a muffin tin for 15 minutes at 400 degrees and they would come out with craters in the middle for filling. The picture sure looked delicious! Too bad they came out like pancake muffins! :)

Sometimes things just don't work out! Oh well, they still tasted good with blueberry topping and syrup. 

What a crazy crazy week. Yes, double crazy. We had Monday off for the Veterans Day holiday which was nice to get a three day weekend, but it seems like the rest of the week was dragging along. 

With the time change and the full moon, all the crazy members come out to the branch to do their financial business. And I mean that in the nicest way possible. Hahaha, my coworkers and I like to joke that the full moon week is the worst because everyone wants ridiculous things. It's kind of hard to find an example that translates well, especially through the computer screen. 

One kid, probably 18 or so, gave a coworker a coin slip (we have a coin sorter like a CoinStar machine) and a paycheck. He said he wanted to take $25 from one and $40 from the other to pay towards his credit card and then take some cash back from both and then he rest go into his savings. 

What? That makes no sense! Silly!

It was like no one could articulate what they wanted to do. Sometimes I ask people how they want their cash back, and I get a blank stare in return and then an "I don't know."

Well, I don't know either, so let's just put it in my account, ok? Wouldn't that be lovely? :)

Things are going very well at work, I can't remember if I shared, but I moved to a small public branch in a town close by. Only takes 15 minutes to get to work, at most. Opposed to the 45 it was before when I was working downtown in the big city in a private building. That was a small branch just for the employees of the company where there was no access for the public.

I very much like working at the new branch. I get along really well with all my coworkers, we happen to have an all female branch which is uncommon because most branches have at least one guy. There was a male lender when I transferred there in February but he moved to mortgages and now we have a female lender. Our branch manager is a girl I used to be friends with in high school. We have 2 older ladies, one is a teller, the other is a member services rep. The rest of us are under 30, but we all get along well. 

I hate getting home after dark and it's only 5:30. Ugh. I am already tired, I do not want to be reminded that I need to do the dishes or laundry when there's no light. To make it worse, this house has the worst possible lighting. No room is ever bright enough for me. I feel like I can't see anything! Makes for some interesting "clean" dishes sometimes! 

Enough with the boring details, we're off to my Dad's house for smoked turkey and ribs! Yum! 

Sunday fun day!

Meghan had her first real sleepover last night. Dylan and Kaylee came over. Kaylee is the daughter of Lacie's boyfriend. Everything went really well, they played upstairs in the play room, are dinner together, watched Despicable Me and had popcorn for a snack. That is, until it came to be bedtime. 

Dylan had already fallen asleep on the couch. So I got the 2 girls settled in on the air mattress in the playroom. (The playroom is the first room at the top of the stairs) Then I went down and woke Dylan up to use the bathroom and walked him upstairs and tucked him in. 

But then Meg wouldn't settle down. (Surprise) She was opening and closing the door to the stairs, talking, and doing who knows what else. Then there was crying from Dylan because Meg kept shutting the door. So I took Meg downstairs and told her she'd have to sleep with me if she couldn't be good and quiet. 

Of course that set her off, but I calmed her down and took her back upstairs. When we got up there, Dylan told me that Kaylee was crying because she was scared. (Kaylee had never slept over all night somewhere else, but Dylan sleeps some nights at my Dads)

I brought everybody downstairs and said I'd call or text Lacie to come pick up Dylan and Kaylee. Poor Meg was devastated and wailing, "I don't want them to gooooo. I want them to stayyyyyy." And I tried to explain that we can't make people stay when they don't want to. But she wasn't really buying it. 

Lacie wasn't responding to my texts so I called her, she and Paul (the boyfriend) were out to dinner and she said to tell them to calm down and they'd be out to pick them up later. 

I tucked all 3 kids into my bed and turned on the Tigger movie. They were all asleep before the end of the movie! Hurray!

So we sort of had a sleepover. :)

Uplifted

It's true. I am feeling uplifted. Ever since my ObGyn appointment last Thursday. It was for a regular annual exam but we talked at length about how long we've been trying to conceive. About the miscarriage last year. About vbac and repeat cesareans. 

In total, we've been trying to conceive since August of 2011. Over two years and I've only been pregnant once. 

The midwife I met with, Meghan (coincidently) was very knowledgeable and really put me at ease. My office doesn't do vbac because the hospital they deliver at is in the little city and they are the only office that delivers at that hospital. 

But things could change. Maybe by the time we're pregnant with #3, they'll have changed their backwards views and get with the program. The hospital in the little city has an operating room and anesthesiologist on staff, but they don't have a nicu. Which is why I believe they don't do vbac. But a nicu shouldn't be necessary if the pregnancy and mom are healthy. At any rate. 

I am determined and hopeful to vbac. Complications only rise with each repeat cesarean. And I am not about to go scheduling a repeat at 39 weeks (the office's policy) when due dates are just guesses. Especially since my cycle length  has been wacky. Varying between 28-32 days. 

But! The best news was at the end if the appointment. Meghan said to keep using the fertility friend app (love it!) to keep track of my temps and and keep trying for a babe and if we are still not pregnant after the 1st of the year then we should for an appointment with the doctor to run tests and start looking at preconception techniques to help us. Like hormones and things like that. 

I would really love to conceive without the help of hormones. But if that's what it takes. We clearly cannot do this on our own. 

In addition, I have got to start exercising regularly and eating right. I'm doing nothing but hurting our chances by sitting around and being lazy about what I'm eating. 

Even if we weren't trying to get pregnant, carrying around this extra 100 pounds is wreaking havoc on my body. 

I only wish I had gone to the doctor sooner. 

Halloween updates and pictures tomorrow, I hope!

Sad

I feel so lost sometimes. I don't know where to start. 

Some would say at the beginning, but where to begin? Should I start where I left off? 

My last post was over a year ago. 

Still no new baby. 

Or pregnancy for that matter. 

So that makes me sad. And angry. And envious. And jealous. So incredibly jealous. Of the other young mothers around me and even the pregnant celebrities. People I have never even met before. 

Maybe I feel so lost because I'm grasping as straws trying to get pregnant. The traditional way is just not working for us. 

And we had such an easy time getting pregnant with Meghan, I never thought it would be so hard this time around. 

In a related story, the branch I now work for at the credit union (in a nearby busy town but not in the big city) is all female (not intentionally it just worked out that way). And our theme for Halloween is a maternity ward complete with baby dolls in a "nursery" and us dressed up as pregnant women or nurses. 

And I really thought I could handle it. I really did. 

Until I broke down in tears, hyperventilating while digging out cloth diapers to bring in for decorating. 

When Meg saw what I was doing, she said, "Oh! Those are for the new babies!"

Meaning new babies in my belly. 

That broke my heart. 

And yet, I'm so incredibly happy for my pregnant friends and acquaintances. Hurray for them! And I mean it! I'm so glad they're welcoming a new life. 

I just wish I could have that too. 

The daughter of my old boss, who is about my age, just announced her third pregnancy. She has a daughter who is a month younger than Meghan. And a son, who would be the same age as our miscarried baby. 

It was so funny when we ended up pregnant at the same time. Also Pat and Alex's son, Gabe, is a few months younger than our unborn baby. 

It is so surreal to me. I was elated when Alex announced that she was pregnant! We were going to have so much fun as pregnant mommies together. 

And all that changed so quickly. 

And then Drew's sister, Val, announced her pregnancy last spring. Oh, I was so happy for her and her fiancé! I wanted nothing more than to be pregnant with her.  To share this amazing experience with her.

And still, I'm not pregnant. 

Our baby was due November 15, 2012. 

I miss that baby everyday. I wish we had named him. Or her, I suppose. But I really feel like that baby was a boy. I miss him so much, it hurts. 

The lender at my branch has a 3 year old and just got married at the beginning of October. She shared with everyone that they would be trying for another baby now and that she stopped taking birth control. She had made a comment in the past about "racing" to see who would be pregnant first. 

I've been there since February and my co-workers know we're trying and have been trying for a long time to get prengant. 

No one's made that comment in months.

Then, this evening, one of Drew's friends made a comment about how we should have another kid so Meghan can have someone to play with. And how she'll be too big to have a sibling soon. All directed at me, of course. Like I have all the control in this matter!

Um, excuse me? Who are you to say when we should have another child? And why, for that matter? 

Ugh. Keep your comments to yourself!

So much work to do for Halloween and so little time! That's enough ranting for me. Thanks for listening!

(Excuse my grammar and spelling mistakes, typing on my phone 😉)

dum de dum...

...it's been a minute, hasn't it? Been waaaay too long, in my opinion.

I have been the busiest bee on the planet.

In the history of the world.

Ugh.

I do not like working. Or rather, I do not like leaving Meghan. She is so broken hearted in the morning, if she's awake when I leave. Screaming and crying, my poor baby. I hate that part. And, if I've had a rough day (or even an awesome day), she is always super excited to see me come through the door at the end of the day.

"MOMMY! Mommy's home! Mommy's home, Daddy! Mommy!"

I love that part.

I actually like working at a credit union. It's a lot of fun and I like the people I work with, which is awesome. Plus, I have tomorrow off because it's Columbus Day. Bonus!

Drew' younger brothers, Luke (19) and Jake (16) have stayed the weekend with us and we have had a lot of fun! Today we did Epic Meal Time! (see youtube for reference) We made a bacon weave coffin with a corpse made of meats laying in it. Covered in onion rings and sweet potatoe fries for good measure. Drew made a homemade barbeque sauce for blood around the "neck" area of our corpse. We made his arms and legs from sausages and a torso of meatloaf stuffed with chili sauce and shredded cheddar completed his body!

Then we ate it.

Hahaha, we had so much fun! The boys have been playing video games and watching funny youtube videos all weekend. But, tomorrow they have to go back home. :( It was nice to have a bunch of family over for a bit, it can get too quiet with just the 3 of us here in this big house.

In the land of babies, I am still not pregnant. Still having weird, random spotting in between periods. Alex (Drew's brother Pat's wife) is still pregnant. And, as her belly grows, my heart seems to ache more and more. I am envious of her, because she is growing this amazing thing, this life inside of her and my belly is still empty. I think it's made worse by the fact that she hates being pregnant. Hates it. How is that even possible? I find it inconceivable (no pun intended) that someone would hate being pregnant, because I loved it! I loved every minute of it and I miss it so much.

Sigh. Off to bed for me.

Friday letters...

from 2 days ago. ;) Here we go:

Dear co-workers in training, Some of you are awesome. Some of you are not.
Dear Pat and Alex, So glad you stopped over the other night for dinner and accompanying us to Toys'R'Us for the 2nd time in 2 days.
Dear Self, Do not judge others for the choices they have made. Or will make. You are not perfect either. "When we know better, we do better."
Dear Shelly, Val, Matt and Corey, Thanks for visiting last night and going to pick up the pizza in the pouring rain/thunderstorm and the wings from the shadiest place ever.
Dear Joey, Thanks for stopping over every day. Living in the country does have it's advantages. ;)
Dear Meghan, Please, please go to sleep easily tonight. I figured out what I want to do with my hair tomorrow and it requires a nightly shower. Not gonna happen if you wear me out little girl! :)
Dear Self, Tomorrow is a new day.

Sunday...

...is definitely not Friday. I'll be doing my Friday letters in a separate (yet equal) post. Sorry I've slacked a bit. But, my first week back at work has been tough! It's been especially challenging since it's the first (of three) weeks of training, so we went through all the really boring stuff. HR and W-4's and cancer insurance and term life insurance and accidental death and disability insurance and 401k and empire vision discounts... Do you see where I'm here? Plus we learned the differences between credit unions and banks (the 4-letter word, hah), Empower's beliefs and values. The ABC's of professionalism (Attitude, Behavior and Communication) What to do in a robbery...etc.

Pretty exciting.

We did get to shadow different employees at 3 branches, that was neat. Next week, I'll learn actual functions of my position, the starting Friday I'll be training in the branch!

It's amazing how a first day at work is almost the same as a first day back at school. Stressing over what outfit to wear and how to style my hair. (Which reminds me, I need to figure out both for tomorrow!)

But, I made it through the first week fairly unharmed. Excepting for Meghan. She has not taken the transition very well. Before, she could be asleep within minutes. Now it's taking upwards of an hour. Her record is an hour and 20 minutes. Which is just ridiculous. :( Sadfaces all around. Those nights where it took an hour+, I would fall right asleep after, just mentally exhausted. Yuck.

So much for getting into an exercise routine.

We've also made it through our first week housesitting for Drew's grandparents while they drive cross country for their 50th anniversary. I hope Drew and I do something as exciting and fun for our 50th! :)

I think the combination of me being gone for 8+ hours a day and us housesitting is what's causing Meghan so much distress at night. We don't have our furniture or bedding, but we did bring Meg's crib mattress and her blankie. She calls her little spot in the corner, her bed. So. Hopefully we're making some headway there.

I've been wanting to use this opportunity (mostly empty house) to really get crafty with sewing and crochet, get my etsy store finally filled with items. But, it's not happening. You'd think I'd be able to get something done with a whole weekend spread before me. Yet, here we are on Sunday...

I'll leave you with that. And go work on my Friday letters...from 2 days ago. :)

Rebecca Black...

...will forever run through my head on Fridays. For the rest of my life.

So, Dear Rebecca, Thanks for making the most infectious song in the history of the world.
Dear Body, Get it together! Strep throat, crazy cramps and weird spotting are driving me bananas!
Dear MegPie, Hold on, just one blog post then I'll "off 'puter, momma, out!" (get off the computer and go outside)
Dear Self, Go pack something! Housesitting like, tomorrow!
Dear Car, Hold it together, I got a job! I'm gonna need some reliable transportation!
Dear Angie, Thanks for all the laughs, can't wait to make new memories at the end of September!
Dear Olivia, Glad to (not) hear so much One Direction lately, my mind needed a break! :)
Dear Ben, I finally wrote that letter.
Dear Carrie, Happy 18th Birthday, CarrieBerry, hope it's fabulous and full of yellow :)
Dear Readers, You're Welcome. :D

th is for...

...Thursday. Totally thought today was Friday, so I was thinking up things to write for my "Friday Letters". I'll just have to save those for tomorrow. :) Only 3 more days until I start my new job! I am super excited, but I cannot for the life of me decide what I want to wear the first day. Or how to do my hair. We have to have pictures taken for IDs. Might as well be back to school, because it feels like it!

The kids are about to step off the bus, they started school on Tuesday. Sean is in Kindergarten, Danielle 1st grade, Olivia 7th, Eileen 8th, Jake 10th and Carrie is going for her GED. Carrie rides the bus, but then gets bused from the high school to the little city to take GED and childcare classes.

We've had to pick Carrie up early from school the last 2 days, Doctor appointment yesterday and then today she didn't feel well. She said she ate the school's pizza and then felt really nauseous.

But! I actually ran all my errands I needed to, today. Bank and storage unit. Now I really have no excuse to be packing. Ugh, I hate packing, but I love going on trips! Soon I'll be reporting from Drew's grandparents house. Not gonna lie, it'll be nice to blog/facebook/surf the internet without any background noise ;)

Carrie's birthday is tomorrow, she will be 18! We were talking yesterday about what kind of food we'll have for her birthday dinner and she listed off: asparagus, artichokes, Brussels sprouts, lobster, scallops...quite the extravagant dinner! I'm alright with any of those, except the artichokes. Yuck. I've only had them once, while I was studying abroad in Italy, my roommate (also from Wells) made them, but I did not enjoy them. :)

OK. Time to pack. Ugh.

Happy...

...Wednesday! Well, it would be if I could keep my head on straight. I had a rather odd labor dream last night (involving a wacky roommate who had already birthed her baby, but her friends/family were celebrating with a disco ball, lights, and bubbles. Yes, bubbles.) and I think it threw my whole day off. The plan was to go to the storage unit and get some things out of it so I can pack up 3 lives. That was the only thing I had to do today because Dylan was supposed to get here at 2pm and Lacie would be picking him up around dinner time.

Then, I decided I may as well take my weekly UPS drop off (15 minutes away) and if I'm doing that I might as well go to the little city to visit the bank (30 minutes). So, we get to the little city, drop off my package and we're driving around when we get a call from Kim that Dylan got dropped off. Two and a half hours early. (Thanks, Mom) Kim graciously agreed to watch Dylan and we agreed to pick up Carrie from school, so Kim could make 1 less trip to the little city today. (She has to take Carrie to the big city for a doctor's appointment, then back to the little city to pick Val up from work)

We enjoyed the Chinese buffet near the McDonald's and TOPS (grocery store) on the outskirts of town, near Carrie's school. (for you locals who read this, the sushi is sublime!)

To top it off, as we are driving home (now 15 minutes from the bank and home) I realize I never went to the bank! I intended to go after dropping off the package, but then we ended up at the buffet; so I was going to stop after we picked up Carrie. Instead, I just drove straight home.

And we didn't stop at the storage unit, either.

All in all, a successful day. ;)

Tomorrow we are off to Arby's for free turkey sandwiches (11am-1pm, ya'll!) and the ice cream shop with pumpkin soft serve...yum!

And then the storage unit, of course.

no title...

...because it's 440am EST and I don't know why I'm awake.

Ok, I do. Because I fell asleep with Meghan at 9pmish and slept. And slept. And slept some more. So, now I'm up for a bit. Thinking about getting work done, but I don't really want to.

I am a part of Wells College's FARGO Board (Friends And Recent Graduates Organization) which is comprised of alumnae/i of the last 10 years who actively engage with the current students, host different events throughout the year and fund raise for the school.

Not only am I a member, but my bff Angie convinced me to run as Vice-Chair alongside her as Chair and we are now leading this whole shabang. So. It's a lot more work than we anticipated, as apparently leaders before us were just sort of winging it. Like, a lot.

So, when I refer to 'getting work done', I mean emailing lots of people, updating and regulating our Facebook page (shameless plug, hah) and creating a master list of members and their information in a spreadsheet.

Little did I know how much I loathe spreadsheets.

Until now.

we are...

...never ever ever getting back together. I cannot get that Taylor Swift song out of my head. I've only heard it all the way through once on the radio and that was a few days ago...

Crazy head.

Lots of crazy things going on, no surprise there. I'll be watching Dylan this week and then, that's it! Forever! I am so so relieved. I never really wanted to watch him, I started when Meghan was 4 months old and I mostly don't enjoy it. At the time, we were living in our apartment in the suburbs and I liked being a stay-at-home momma to just one baby. I was sort of forced into it, Lacie and my mom were both pushing for it. In their eyes, being a sahm is not a job and to not be making an income is just not enough contribution to the world. Blargh. In some ways, I feel cheated out of Meg's babyhood. I don't know if that's weird of not, because my nephew shouldn't feel like an observer, but he did. Does. Sometimes.

Of course, being here is different, I'm thankful Meg has other kids to play with around her age, every day. Plus she's older and so much more independent. And my mom and sister really sold it to me, "You'll get paid", "it's only 4 days a week", etc. Well, $100 a week for 40+ hours is crap. I would much rather being doing something and get paid a real wage for it.

Paid, full time, training for my new job (Part Time teller at Empower FCU) starts September 10th. That's just 2 days after we move in with Drew's grandparents before they leave for their cross country vacation on September 12th. So, Meg will be going through a lot of change in a short amount of time. We all will.

And I am totally cool with that.

I'm ready to switch it up. I think I'll be able to get a bunch of crafty stuff done and work on actually getting my etsy store off the proverbial ground. We will of course, be less crowded and have more room. Even with working like crazy, I'll be able to set up my sewing machine and crochet stuff somewhere and just sit down (or pick it up) whenever I want. I haven't bothered with the sewing machine here because after I get Meghan to sleep, clean the kitchen table/area and set the machine up, it'd be 10pm. So there wasn't really a point to it. My poor crochet projects have been sitting on the shelf next to the couch for months. I never did finish Drew's cousin's baby blanket (Kim's sister's daughter, Jess gave birth to her daughter on Sean's 5th birthday. July 24th)

Thinking about straightening my hair today. Just for the fun of it. Maybe while I'm off washing diapers...

friday...

...Friday, gotta get down on Friday. Ok, technically it's Saturday. Sorry 'bout that. Been hella busy lately/today especially. Without further ado,

Dear Friday, Hot dang, could you get any crazier? I would like to get things done and not have to crash for 5 hours in the afternoon.
Dear Sickness, Thanks for letting me crash for 5 hours this afternoon.
Dear Hubby, See above.
Dear Empower Thanks for the job offer! Super excited to get a drug screen on Monday! (not) But, definitely excited for Full Time paid training starting September 10th! ;)
Dear Ben, I have been meaning to write you letter. I am seriously going to go do that. In about 5 minutes.
Dear Crazy Sunday, Sorry if I'm slacking, it's going to be a crazy day thanks to 2 birthday parties, one of which is a tea party for a certain 7 year old princess ;)
Dear Self, For the love of pete, do not have strep. Please.
Dear Body, Is Aunt Flow gone yet? Because she is not welcome here. Especially not if she shows up in September.

I am in rare...

...form today, I suppose. Just when you're at your wit's end and think maybe a nap at 6pm is looking brilliant, your in-laws walk in the door from their camping vacation! Huge weight lifted off my shoulders as I will be hearing significantly less amounts of "Meghan is..." "Sean took my...", " Danielle won't stop...", "I can't find my...", "SoAndSo is sick..." and my personal favorite, "I'm Hungry!" :)

Can't believe it's almost 10 o'clock, I have my interview at Empower tomorrow morning and have to be out the door by 9...which reminds me I should probably look up directions tonight, instead of in the morning like I did last time.

There. Took care of that.

Now, I just have to figure out what to wear. I asked Drew (always has the insightful answer hah) and he suggested the skirt with the blue and green circles on it. And then I pointed to my bottom half. (I was wearing aforementioned skirt) We laughed and then I mentally tried to figure something out. I don't know if I should go with a skirt/top or a dress. Probably a skirt, I wear them more often and am more comfortable in them than in the dresses I own.

I was in a little bit of a rush last time and I think it showed, I didn't get my hair right and was sort of flying out the door. I hope to be more collected tomorrow. Also, the woman I met with last time will be there, along with a supervisor, a branch manager and a district manager. Probably all of those people. No worries. :)

So say a little prayer, shout out, sing a song, etc for me and hopefully my Friday Letters post will start off on a happy note ;)

yummmm...

...made iced coffee this morning. Definitely the best way to start the day. We only had a little of the Pumpkin Spice coffee left, so I put half of that and half regular Arabica in the coffee maker. Yum! We're all out of milk, so a trip to the little town market sometime today...perhaps I'll take a kid or two. :)

In much more riveting news, got my results from the blood draw on Saturday, my HCG level was at a 4! That means I am definitely having a period right now (awesome) and we can conceive (awesomer!) Super excited! When I got off the phone with the nurse, I turned to Drew and said "Let's make a baby!" Haha.

Hopefully, I'll have a rainbow baby update in 4ish weeks ;)

I had the screening test with Empower yesterday, and I passed it, which means I am not an idiot :) I have an official interview with a branch on Thursday morning. I still have a phone interview with M&T on Friday morning as well. They're both for part time teller positions, which I think will be perfect. I don't want a full time job (whether we need it or not) I think I got really burnt out when I was working before; just working, homekeeping and sleeping. It was really rough not having any time to be creative.

Also, Sunday is Danielle's 7th birthday (also my Grandma's birthday) and Danielle is having a tea party! I am excited for all the yummies we'll be eating. Plus we get to dress up! It will be a long day with 2 parties to go to!

In September, Drew's grandparents are celebrating their 50th anniversary by driving cross country! They'll be gone for 6 (or more) weeks and we will be house sitting for them. We go there on the 8th and if I get the position with Empower, training for that starts the 10th, so lots of changes! Haven't figured out what we'll do if Drew is working too, as far as Meghan is concerned. I'd hate to have to drive him to work, Meghan to Cato (so Kim can watch her :D) and then to the suburbs of the big city to work. (not the suburb we lived in before, the one where Colleen and Joey live, for those of you who know me in real life)

I'm sure it will all work out. It always does.

sunday...

...funday? I don't know about that one. Kim and Tom (in-laws) have gone camping in the Adirondacks until at least Wednesday. Or whenever they run out of food. And they took food. A lot of food. Haha. So I am in charge (of course!) with Drew, Val, Matt, Luke, Carrie (she's at her boyfriend's house right now), Jake, Eileen, Olivia, Danielle and Sean. And Meghan. Dylan comes tomorrow, but that's the only day this week. I don't really count Val and Matt as they're very self-sufficient and tend to stay in their room. A lot.

Kim cooked up a bunch of food before she left like taco meat and sloppy joes (YUM). We'll be eating like the Kennedys while they're gone. My mom used to say that a lot whenever we had something good to eat, instead of sandwiches or ramen night. ;)

Kim laughed when she read my Friday letter post, I didn't know I was so funny! I was serious about the womb/blood work part. I had my (hopefully last) blood drawn yesterday, but I won't hear the results until Monday when the Dr's office calls me. I wrote that because I'm pretty sure my period is back! (hurray!) This feels like a postpartum period too, which is good, but I am seriously crampy and cranky and exhausted and constantly hungry. I ate 4 baked potatoes with dinner the other. FOUR. POTATOES. What was I thinking?! I was thinking I was hungry, that's what! Hah.

I applied to a bunch of positions over the past 10 daysish and M&T bank and Empower Credit Union have both called back! I have a screening test tomorrow morning with Empower and a phone interview with M&T Friday morning. So. Maybe I'll be getting a job. :)

I think I'm going to lost it today if these kids keep eating all the freeze pops. And I'm not even talking about the youngest 3 kids. :D

thinking...

...about doing one of those weekly post thingers that other bloggers do. You know, "Wordless Wednesday", etc. This one is called "Friday's Letters" where you write little notes to people or places or things...


So. Here goes.

Dear Meghan, Quit growing! At 2 years old, Meghan at 26.4 pounds/35 inches (~12 kg/90 cm for my international readers ;)) is taller than 75% of the other 2 year old kids and right around normal for weight. She's always been long and thin and I hope she continues. Drew is 6 ft (183 cm) and I am 5'8" (172.5 cm), so there's no surprise that she's a baby Amazon.
Dear M&T, Empower FCU, and every other job I've applied to in the last week, Please, please hire me. I need a job. We need some type of income and I don't know how much longer we can stand it.
Dear Sister, Get it together.
Dear HCG Bloodwork, Come back 0, or 150 and climbing fast...
Dear Other Sister, Get it together and forgive the other one.
Dear Car, Please, please do not break down. Not now.
Dear Husband, Come home from camping! I need you. We miss you!
Dear Womb, Please. Please.
Dear Self, Pray. For patience and guidance and wisdom. Also, go for a walk, lazy butt!

Whew! One down, a bajillion Fridays to go...